This may seem or sound strange to everyone who may at some point come across this blog and read it. But those that know me know the path in which I am currently walking, they do not however know completely in it's entirety of the things I've experienced within the last two and half mind boggling weeks.
For those whom may read this and don't know me (can't see anyone reading it though) I am walking a path in which I have chosen to develop my psychic side and also my mediumship. I've been on this path for a good three years now and it's not always been plain sailing there has been a couple of occasions where I felt enough was enough, that it was time to stop. I have however pushed that away and continue to proceed with it as the feeling you get from it is nothing that can be matched by anything in this world. It might seem strange to you or repulsive but for me it's an ever growing link to the afterlife and knowing that there is life after death is something wonderful for me. It's not for everyone that I agree with. Many out there will tell you horror stories about it, they will bash it to the words of the bible they will slate it and tar everyone within it with the same brush. Fair enough that's there thoughts and opinions good on them, this world, this path however, does require an open mind and respect. However I'm getting off the beaten track now with what I've said.
The purpose of this post was to configure everything that has gone on this last month, but i'll probably not remember ever last detail about it. This is so that I can record what I've experienced and so that I can perhaps look back on it at some point down the road.
So it's May of 2011. For many I've spoken to this month it's been a month of heightened activity with regards to the spiritual world. For me I've experienced things that could perhaps frighten some, but in the right mind it's nothing to be scared of and this I know.
Within the last few weeks I've been seeing more faces coming and going when I close my eyes. Faces of people who are not living and of people I have never seen before. It hasn't mattered as to what time of day it's been, or what I was doing. It's also worth mentioning that it's not always been when I've closed my eyes. Sometimes it's like a flash in the minds eye of a face coming in close and disappearing just as quick. It's usually a common occurrence to experience seeing faces at night when going to sleep. Or at least that seems to be normal for many in this field and perhaps also to those who don't work in it. I couldn't tell you for certain. Some of the faces I've seen recently have been so in your face where you feel you need to pull back, enough for you to take notice of them and then they are gone again. I've not felt anything untoward from it at all, just the strangeness in that it seems that I'm experiencing more of it in a shorter period of time.
To the point that some really are lifelike and solid while others are noticeable yet faint and hazy (see through). It's extended further than just faces when I'm awake, I've had more of what I would say was spirit in dreams, you know the way that you can tell between it just being a dream and when someone comes to you? ... OK maybe you can't. But for mediums out there perhaps they can it's the same feeling when you become aware of spirit wanting to communicate when your willing to open the channel and let them through. In dreams - when you sleep, it's said to be the same state of mind as when your meditating, thus making it far easier for spirit to come and speak to you. So I've had more spirit related dreams which personally didn't make much sense, I still feel that they are pushing my awareness to see how far it will stretch, to see in which ways I will notice them. It's that feeling your being tested for something but you don't know what... I've never bothered to ask about it with my guides either. I've known for the last 7 or 8 months that things were changing, they way spirit were making themselves known was fluctuating through that time period as well, another indication that change in awareness was on the horizon.
I can't help but feel that these such dreams are partly connected to other dreams I've had regarding people I do however know but none pertaining to family members. To which these dreams I'm still relatively looking into them, into myself as to the meaning of them, trying to see what the subconscious wants me to see - all of which I keep coming back to change, to seeing the smaller details, the fine tuning, being alert to surrounds and such things like that.
On another note, I've had lights flash in my room - yet again when it's the middle of the night and no-one passing by outside in cars or what have you. I've heard my name being called more often with no-one in the house doing so. I've had shadows pass me by and disappear, before you start to wonder none of this bothers me, it's nothing new to me really only that it's happening more often now than it did before. There was one night within the last week in which I was watching a DVD on the laptop, where my mum had come in with a mug of Tea then went back out again - lights were off in the room and the mug was away from the laptop or it's screen to the point where there was no possible way the following item could have been caused by the steam off that mug. I went back to watching the DVD when all of a sudden I had what I would say a wisp of smoke, not just a small amount either, come up from behind the screen and upwards towards the ceiling, it was white, almost like an orb but made up of smoke. I couldn't explain it, there was nothing on the DVD that could have contributed to it, there was nothing in the room either that could have caused it to happen and I really don't believe it was a trick of the mind.
A couple of nights later, mum had come in again with another mug of tea, after a couple of minutes of her leaving, I saw what I would claim to be that of a man standing in my room away from the door way. Again the lights where off but there was light coming in this time from another room just offset from the door in the hall. I could see his face as clear as day, he was looking out towards the hall. I could make out his neck and shoulders, and the outline of the rest of him. I didn't get a chance to make a connection with him as, as quick as he appeared he was gone again. This left me a little startled as to what had happened but one again nothing out of the ordinary for me. I've had many odd experiences over the years, enough now to not make me jump when things like that happen.
I've also recently just tried my hand at a little automatic writing, I would say it was only about 20 minutes worth as I had to go to work. I didn't open the channels for spirit to work with me, I kept it only with my guides for that time. I didn't want to open up to just anyone esp when I was heading off to work not much later. As much as you can doubt the outcome of this I can bet my life on it that I did not knowingly know what was being written. My eyes where closed, I was mentally inviting my guide forwards to try this method and the response he gave me was - Why... So why indeed, I'm not going to question it just yet. I'm going to leave it and see what comes about when I next have time to try this method before trying it with the spirit world.
Another thing that doesn't make sense right now to me is, I was running an open circle with my dad, on line. As much as I could see spirit passing by, I couldn't establish a connection for anyone present that night, which isn't all that strange for me recently however, once we had closed circle and cleared the room, once I had re-grounded and protected following methods I've been taught. I became really light headed and feeling somewhat sick. It's almost as if I had ploughed straight into a wall of strong energy. I thought for a moment perhaps I didn't close down properly after running circle so I went through it all again to no avail. I couldn't detect any spirits around which could have caused that and I fine not long after either. I had water with me throughout so I know it had nothing to do with that, I've been fine since, and had nothing to eat that would affect me in such a way. I've yet to find the answer to that one.
And the last thing to mention in this record so far that last night - May 24th at around 11:30pm I started feeling really unsettled and anxious. I hadn't knowingly opened any connections to bring about this feeling, but felt I needed to go and walk it off, so I took the dogs with me and I sat outside for a good 10 minutes watching them run around before continuing with the walk. When I came back I decided to see if I could pick anything up, that might have brought about that feeling. I soon became aware of a man, sitting on the floor holding his knees in towards his chest and rocking back and forth. To me that might have explained the connection but I'm still not overly sure. I'm not doubting the feeling only looking for other plausible explanations to which I've found none.
I've also tried working with a Trance Meditation, to help connections with spirit. I could only do about 5 minutes worth as once again something disturbed it and I didn't go back to it. I wasn't feeling tired so I've ruled that out of what I felt.
When listening to this Guided Meditation, I could feel myself swaying slightly which I think is normal in relation to what was going on then. I could feel myself going deeper, feeling the drop into each level as it where, now I don't know whether the sound I was hearing contributed to the feeling of it or not but as I felt the drop into another level, I was aware of my head going downwards more also. I don't know if that's normal or not but do know that for most people when meditating(which always fails me, something always prevents it) that they sit with back straight and head stays up. I don't know I can't say for certain as to why I felt what I felt. I think perhaps I'll try it again later and see what the outcome of that will be once again, hopefully I'll manage more than 5 minutes when I do try again, likewise for automatic writing, I hope it's more than just why and longer than the time I had to try it last time.
So that's about it for now, but I have this feeling that there will be more to add as the days go on. I'll try and keep an up to date record of what I've experienced to keep myself straight as it's most definitely been more eventful now than it has before in regards to what's been felt within a space of 3 weeks.
Oh before I forget, there's one more thing. I was watching an episode of Most Haunted, one from Season 6 on DVD which I've never seen before not having Living TV to watch it on. There was one episode where almost from the start of it, I had the name Amelia come in that I couldn't place, there wasn't any spirit's around at that time either. On further watching of this episode David Wells picked up on a 19 year old female to which he connected the name Emily. After he did that there was a flash up on the screen of the information pertaining to what he picked up on and he was right about the spirit however her name wasn't Emily it was Amelia. I found that strange.